I feel like i have so much anger bottled up inside of me. I just don't know what to do, say, or even how to express myself for that matter. And it hurts so bad. Sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs. I guess I'm just getting tired of dissapointment. Why do people tell you something, and never follow through? Dissapointment. Now matter how many times I tell you, no matter what I do, you do the same thing over again. It'd be nice to let me know you changed the plans involving me. Just so I wouldn't feel like an idiot waiting. You know that choked up feeling, when you want to cry, but you know you can't.? And then your throat gets all dry?... It sucks.
Well that's how my day went.
Besides that....
I'm kinda stressing over school. You see originally I wanted to do what almost every TEENAGE mother wants to do. Go to school for teaching. Literally most of the teen mothers I know either want to be teachers or nurses. I mean teaching would be great because that means I get plenty of time with Jordynn, but lately I've been having second thoughts.
Before I got pregnant, my big thing was journalism and photograpy. I wasn't the best at it, but it's what made me happy. I felt good doing it. That's originally what I wanted to do in life. Then I got pregnant and was stuck between teaching or nursing. You see, nursing doesn't take much schooling, but then I looked at the pluses and negatives of both, and just decided I'd go to school for teaching. But Lately, I've realized that the town I live in sucks! If you ever want to do anything fun you have to drive.! & I hate driving. So I thought it would be cool to open up my own place. Like a skating ring or bowling alley, ya know? I thought it'd be cool. A place where parents could throw parites at, maybe have like a little arcade inside, and a dinning area. The only catch is NO ALCHOHOL. I think alchohol would just ruin it.
So anyways, like most teenages, I've been going back and forth a lot. Now I think I want to go to school for business. But in doing that, I'd be taking a HUGE leap, and risking so much. Hard work pays off, but what if I'm in over my head. I mean I have jordynn to think about. There's just so much more that goes into all of this. So I'm stuck.
Anyways... writing this got my mind off of a lot. Now to go back into the "real world" lol
I hate that feeling. Being a teenage mom is hard, and getting pregnant on "accident" at any age is difficult (I say accident because the pregnancy was an accident but obviously the baby was not...)
ReplyDeleteI found out I was pregnant (with twins!) when I had only been with my (then boyfriend) husband for 3 MONTHS! I was terrified and my schooling was immediately put on hold. (not that I was actively engaging in educating myself but I had big plans to go back to school....as soon as I figured out what I wanted to do LoL)
Long story short, my boys are now 15 months old and after being a stay at home mom for over a year now I am SO ready to DO SOMETHING! I don't know what your interested in or even looking into but you might want to take a look at dental assisting. They make a pretty good salary and certification can take as little as 4 months (I'm thinking it will take me more like 6 LoL) Either way, you can get certified online while staying at home with the baby. Just something to look into. Not to mention you can always go back to school down the road to become a dental hygienist. Maybe something you could look into.
I know what you and ashley mean im also a teen mom I'm 18 and have an 18month old daughter I also picked a faster career at my school i took medical office because the school helped use get a job after were done with school buh then I thought it wasn't really what I wannted plus to be in a medical career you most likely have to work on some holidays or late night since medical is a nonstop work depending where you work!I want to work when i want to and be with my daughter when i want to too!
ReplyDeleteSo I decided to change my class I also am interested in photography and video editing buh for special events like weddings baptism etc. so im taking a 2yr class of multimedia and then a 2yr business class because I plan on having my own business for that! I come from a mexican family and no one has good career and I want to be the first! well good look on everything Samantha hope you get to do what you want in life hope you get the business you want my town sux to lol!! do what is right for your little family!